When you first start dating someone, you never actually expect it to work out for a super long time. Sure, you’re optimistic about the future and think about the potential that might be there, but you don’t actually picture what life will be like with this person three, five or ten years down the road. And if you do, you don’t allow yourself to think about it too much, in case it doesn’t work out. Because many times, it doesn’t work out. So it’s a way of protecting yourself, right? Minimizing the heart break that could happen.
OK, maybe some of you do view relationships and the future of them in a more optimistic light. But I never did. Does that make me a bad person? I don’t think so. I think it just makes me cautious. It makes me think about things ahead of time – about what I really want, what the other person really wants, and whether or not we can actually give that to one another. Not about whether we hope we can make it work. Because sometimes, things just don’t work out. Blame it on mismatched personalities, different views on important matters (kids, beliefs, finances, etc), or something as simple as timing.
But sometimes they do work out. Or at least, they continue to. And I’m so unbelievably lucky to have had this relationship of mine for the last four years.
No, Dustin and I don’t get along all of the time. We don’t smile and blow each other kisses during every waking moment. But ya know what? I wouldn’t want that. Because if that’s what we were like, how would I know that we are strong enough to survive the tough stuff?
Sometimes just spending the day in the same room together is all we need. We don’t have to be holding hands, talking to each other, or even doing the same thing. But having him around while I do my thing and he does his – there’s something about it. It’s comforting.
That’s what we did yesterday. After I ran 7.5ish miles, I spent the day with Dustin. We had a wonderfully amazing lazy day together. He played video games, I caught up on TV shows and immediately became addicted to Scandal (damn you, Netflix). Did I go to the yoga class I originally planned? Nope. Did we have peanut butter and jelly sandwiches for dinner? Yep. And I wouldn’t have changed a single thing about my day.
Other times, you show each other how much you care and what exactly it is that you love about them. We did that on Monday, which happened to be Martin Luther King, Jr. day and the day of the Presidential Inauguration. It also happened to be our four year anniversary (Score for the vacation day!)
We spent the majority of the day out and about, as I took Dustin throughout Manhattan and Astoria, solving clues to get to spots important to us. He loves to solve riddles and puzzles, so a scavenger hunt seemed like the perfect idea. Turns out I was right – he loved reading my rhyme-filled clues and then rushing to wherever he guessed the next location would be.
It also turns out that he hates it when I have information and he doesn’t. Sucker :)
After our scavenger hunt, I found out he was feeling sentimental too. We were quite the travel bugs in 2012, and Dustin printed out all of our photos from our trips throughout the years so we could put together a photo album together. Talk about a great way to reminisce about the adventures we’ve had in the last four years.
When I think back to four years ago, I never would have imagined Dustin and I would still be together, happier than ever. Sure, I was optimistic and I hoped it would work out, but I was in college and not really into seriously dating at the time. I thought, “Let’s give it a whirl and see where things go.”
I’m so glad they’re still going.
I’ve had such an amazing four years – I can only imagine how unbelievable the next four might turn out <3